I had so many problems whirling around my head like an angry swarm of locusts seeking any morsel of food, be it flesh or grain.
Having a personal life as stable as a loose saddle on a metaphorical horse greatly effected how I worked and my attitude to others that had to suffer my verbal onslaught on a day-to-day basis, and a defensive stature on ANY form of criticism.
On top of this, I was sickeningly outgoing, and still am, but did not take anyone into consideration in conversation, bringing in the classic phrase of "think before you speak"
Taking my design skills into consideration, I had not much knowledge in software, and the level of sophistication required to pull off decent design effectively, but having some experience in craft-based skills/design, I was happy to expand on those skills.
Despite Fred saying that we cant rely on our comfort zones, I think I have learnt alot more in the formal aspects of design when using software, and warming towards the ease of production when using it. As the year progressed, I had the workshops which greatly benefitted me in my personal development, as I have become more proficient it to my own work.
However, my work ethic at the start was in doubt, due to my feeling out of place, that I was well in over my head, despite my mates on the course reassuring me that I was doing well, it still felt like I could benefit so much more by learning more skills then taking on this degree, as to develop myself more as an individual, but now I know that from the support of the tutors (not being a tutors pet here but-!) and also the others on my course, I feel as if I can achieve so much more.
My attitude towards work was slack, confused and scatter-brained, ALL THE TIME. This was greatly affected by my shit time management, and not knowing what was going on ALL THE TIME, factors of my personal life aside, it was hard for me to come to terms with who I was to become as a designer and as an individual.
Looking to the future, I still have far far far too much to learn, and much more to overcome in the coming year. (I am still terrible with finance, ask anyone at all, even Amber who is reading this will know that too, so I will leave that as an obvious statement.)
I would like to develop my crafting skills much more, as to get to the standard of Amand and Dean in the second year,but that drives me even more to be better and more involved with projects, even if I have not that much motivation or passion for, I still think I can get hands on and hammer down, even if it means a few all-nighters.
In terms of digital knowledge in all aspects of software they all need developing and they will in time, and as the year progresses as it is always a learning curve for me.
I now accept criticism with a pinch of salt, and am eager to hear what people think of what I am working on.
Overall, I have as much to learn as a baby does in growing into a full adult, but as the saying goes "crawl before you walk"
I am enjoying myself and the company I am in, which drives me alone to be better, I have alot of eating to catch up on (ha-ha...!) and alot of sleep - but that can wait until the brief is done.
I have also learnt that its best to make informed decisions otherwise my work ends up like a Kurt Cobain.
Lets see how far the rabbit hole goes......
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